I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
