so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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