wakey wakey hands off snakey
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So much rum. So many feels.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
