ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
