After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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