There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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