She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
