3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
