drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
