I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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