Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't put those talents on a resume
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
