he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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