If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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