I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
