i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
