I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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