Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We're too hungover to prance.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
