We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Semen is not good for contacts.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
