Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
