it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we're making bets on your personal life
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
