billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
