just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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