Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
