She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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