my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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