Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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