his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
40s are totally the cure
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
