Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
