VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
