It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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