Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
