he thought i was a dude.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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