and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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