She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
