Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
