For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
