Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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