I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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