Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
