Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
