I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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