I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
