I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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