Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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