insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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