Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
