is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
