Duck Duck Cougar?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
