Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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