Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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