it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
