Michael Bay diarrhea
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
